Today was the birthday of my fiance. We spent the day together and it was beautiful. In the evening went We then played on an after-work party in a club (Culture Club Hanau) and a live band ... I can not tell you why, but suddenly touched me God again with a violent slap in the face ... About a year ago I promised myself that I wanted to see everyone's face. This may sound ridiculous, but it is the equivalent to look at-clothes-on-hair look, etc and so on.
The musicians sang their songs and lyrics shook me profoundly. It was the well-known, popular songs from the charts. Nevertheless - the lyrics were dripping from Sexgier, irreverence and joy ... Women were reduced to .. God knows what .. They were no longer God's creatures but a means to an end. Everything went just about "having fun" - but at what price? Jesus once asked, "What shall it profit a man if he gains the world, however lost his soul?" I saw the dancing crowd - I saw them in the faces and was shocked. Women who were over 30, yes 40, squeezed into the clothes of their teenage daughters. Desperately looking for someone who would still consider great. Men were running around there, who sought to find a place for their little ones for the evening .. It was grotesque! Married men committed adultery with their eyes, lonely women looking for attention for their broken conspicuous and not seemed that what one hears in the music (which comes to mind) remains in the mind and impresses itself on - souls. The reason why so many men treat women badly is not in the education of parents or the school, but toward the same musical culture to them pretending that behavior.
I sat there - shocked - and began to cry. I saw the people (again) from God's perspective .. lost, sick, helpless - unable to save himself from this grotesque situation, which they call "life" .. And it seemed not identify what.
"you" saw it and asked me what was going on. I told her. She said, "hey, that 'the world' now times "- but I know .. It's not even the problem - the problem is that at no something about it seems the problem is that we Christians have come to terms with the fact that the
are so flat and! . we are just different, but it can not be that this passivity is not yet that which Jesus has called us to rebel in me ...
I asked them if they are not seeing this terrible situation!?? - however, she sees it. Yes, but it does not mind? ... no .. apparently not .. at least she hides it so that they can enjoy the evening. On one hand I can understand it, the other rebel in me everything when I think of it, that one looks away as a Christian, of what "the world" really is ...
I went home .. I was totally broken .. I'm still .. to see the world breaks my heart again and again and again .. Tears ran down my face when I had to remember that I almost do not know anyone who would be willing to reach these people ..
And then suddenly .. I gave up.
I heard the conversations at the table, saw the faces, the amount of people that their "world" and her despair - and I gave it up easily. I wrote about 2 years on the typology 
Sigma
- more than just that type of person .. and today? Today I give up ... This struggle can not alone deliver .. If no 2-3 fight at men with the same heart, mind, you are fighting in vain ... Sigma The horror is that "they" While I understand it, but my heart does not share .. That hurts a lot .. I do not know how to get along so ... It raises many questions as unlikely ... on the other hand I was when I was a Christian as long as they, nor anything but on fire for Jesus ... It is however very much - even though (yet?) .. In this area
I do not know what I mean .. maybe just that I need prayer .. I am completely finished with the nerves and see no help on the horizon - not a man of God who are standing with me and God for the city Jesus takes up .. On the contrary, I constantly hear from Christians only that it was not possible .. Finally, I wonder, however, if they really believe that it is possible not , or rather think that it is not necessary
.. This should ask every Christian times myself ...
:.. (
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